Dear Facebook,
You are a god. It must feel good to be you. Scratch that. It must feel GREAT to be you. Because, seriously, think about it, how many millions (billions?) of people are in love with you!? Seriously, so many of us are jealous of all the love you receive.
You are the new religion, binding us all together. Because of you, I can keep in touch with the friends and family that are oh, so far away. We can share pictures and connect/reconnect in almost any fashion we desire. Instead of calling Megan, to make a goofy comment on some picture she's recently been tagged in, I can just leave her a message for the entire world to see! It is as though you share your godly powers with me. And also her, because, you know, you've allowed that tagged picture to be seen by me and everyone else as well. Hell, in a lot of cases, people who may not even know her can see her! You are so awesome!
I remember this one time, I was mad at an old friend, but because of you, I was able to know everything she was up to, and had the ability to form a plan of attack. The feeling was indescribable. Of course, this has also been a tool used on me too. I mean, what goes around comes around, right? I deserved it when people spied on me and did hateful things. And that's only because I forgot I could set up my privacy settings. Boy I felt silly that day, I can tell you!
It is also because of you that I've witnessed people discover who their true friends are. Yes, that must make you feel all warm inside, knowing you can provide truths to people who reside in the dark. I know that sometimes, a comment might go un-deleted and the "wrong person" might see it. That's okay. Because of you, they don't even have to be pals anymore. And who would want to be friends anyway if so-and-so is going to say hateful things? So, friend A can delete friend B, and that should do the trick.
You're just so convenient. You're always the first to share with the world the scandals behind closed doors. You're the first to know about everything -- about break ups, (hey, sometimes even before the breakup-ee!), about farming, about birthdays, anniversaries, about, well, EVERYTHING! Sometimes you're even ahead the news -- while making the news, I might add.
Facebook, I am in awe of you. In awe of your grace, your ability to tell the truth, your almighty gift of connection. You are one of the only faiths left in this world.
I must admit that I for one, am in love with you. You are that extra mile of connective tissue that hold me together with those I love dear...and others admittedly, not so much, but we met that one time at some function, and now we can be friends -- all because of YOU.
Dearest Facebook, keep up the great work!
So, here I am, lying in bed with my four month old, reading a bunch of nursery rhymes. And she's smiling and kicking, and we're just having us a good 'ol time. And then we come upon Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.
I don't dare tell my four month old what I'm thinking (not that she'll understand) but she seems so happy looking at these goofy illustrations. I'm slightly disturbed, to say the least. Little Jack, climbing up the hill with a pail, has a crown on his head. A crown. (Laugh here). Okay, I understand the need to make the rhyme more innocent than it actually is, but if I'm not mistaken, the "crown" is not the crown a prince might wear. But a crown has that double entendre. In other words, the crown can be the top of Jack's head. His skull. However, upon doing further research, it is rumored that Jack is a reference to King Louis XVI and Jill, Marie Antoinette. The loss of Jack's crown, referring to the King's beheading, and Marie Antoinette's beheading following after. Either way, the rhyme is disturbing, and the meaning is diluted far enough for our children to be pleasantly placed away from it's historical context. (http://www.rhymes.org.uk/jack_and_jill.htm)
And what about Humpty Dumpty? First off, where did we get this idea that Humpty is an egg? No where in the rhyme does it say Humpty is an egg...or a man, for that matter. And the rhyme doesn't seem quite that protected for children, either. It seems to suggest a mortality of some kind -- we may go to the doctor, but he or she might not be able to put us back together again, boys and girls. In fact, this rhyme comes from the 17th century, regarding a cannon that made it's home at the top of St Mary's at the Wall Church in Colchester. When the church was hit and the cannon destroyed, the King's cavalry could not put it back together. Yes, I see where the egg came from clearly now. (Sarcasm)
These rhymes are fun, yes. And definitely something I remember from my childhood; the best of my memories. But it seems they are all lies, and some even scary. For instance, Ring around the Rosies. Holy hell, is this scary. No one told me this little song and dance referred to the black plague. And frankly, I'm not sure anyone in my family really knew. And who cared? I just enjoyed falling to the floor. And what about Santa Claus? I am quickly reminded of my first day in mythology class. We participated in the analysis of Burl Ives singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". Frankly, it's completely terrifying. A strange man is watching us. Yes, he has presents and blah, blah, blah. But seriously, listen to the lyrics. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tREXSViRohU) This is a Hansel and Gretyl-esque story. (You know, luring the children to the gingerbread house with candy...same thing, only done up with pretty ribbons)
And there are other stories as well that were blunt honest, which, should be appreciated, as these are the stories that should warn children of the outside world. Cinderella, for example. One of the step sisters cut her toes off to fit into the glass slippers and at the end of the story, the sisters' eyes are gauged out by birds. BUT, do we see that in the Disney-fied version? Hell no. And let's face it, a lot of things are altered in Disney's world, forming a kind of Utopia for children. Which, for me, I feel, is good and bad.
It seems that the meanings behind rhymes have been lost, and truth hidden, no matter what form society has chosen to hide it behind. And frankly, I find it disturbing...and scary in a lot of ways. What do we do about this? I don't know. I just don't know. As a parent, I understand wanting to keep safe a child. But when you think you're saving them, are you really?
